Forget Ancient Astronauts
Focus on Ancient Automobiles
(Sorry, another no-chart Car Charts, but another photo too good to pass up.)
Yes, yes, I know, aliens from Zeta Reticuli built the pyramids. And they kidnapped Elvis. But how did they get here to do these things? Everyone assumes they flew, in flying saucers (aka UFOs or nowadays, UAPs - look it up!).
I think they drove.
From the Mardin Museum in Turkey, excavated from a Chalcolithic era (post-Neolithic but pre-Bronze age) site in nearby Kiziltepe, what is thought by some to be the oldest surviving toy in the world… and it’s a car !
(Source)
Five to seven thousand years old, give or take. Minimal rust. Low odometer reading. Financing available. DEFINITELY out of warranty.
(Skeptical online comment: “No, it’s a chariot.” Okay, so how do you hitch the horse to it? I’m going with car.)
I cannot explain how a kid way back then, sitting around waiting for Dad to invent the plow, or rope, or even just soap, dreamed up what is obviously a 1950s streamliner drag racer1, but he or she did.
Proving that car culture predated the car. If the car didn’t exist, we’d have to invent it.
I invite readers to submit, translated from Hittite or whatever, their best guess as to the first comment made by the first neighbor kid to walk by and take note of our potter’s four-wheeled masterpiece. My submission:
“That thing got a Hemi?”
(Runner up: “Is the CARFAX clean?”2 )
Admittedly missing its glass canopy. 1954 “Glass Slipper” racer:
Alternate: “Can I see the MOT?”